Be careful you may live your dream

I guess it started a long time ago in my head but has never been put on paper. My wonderful Katie has inspired me to try to tell some stories about more than25 years in a hospital. I guess I will blog a little and see where it leads. I think most of my entries will begin-- how about the time I was---blank blank etc...... I certainly hope this doesn't gross too many out and I will not be overly graphic.
So... how about the time I was an intern rotating at Beaumont Hospital on Pediatrics at Christmas and I was called by the night nurse at 2 Am Christmas morning to the floor to see a sick 12 year old girl. This story has affected me enough that it needs to be my 1st entry into blogging even though it is not and will never be a heart warming story. It was clearly the 1st heart wrenching moment of my medical career that I still think about to this day.
The experienced nurse that Christmas rather matter-of-factly asked if I would please go into the room of this young girl's room and please pronounce her dead!! Well that sounded like a simple request of a physician of my training and experience. I mean I had completed 4 years of medical school all of 3 months ago. Oh well I guess you gotta be carefull about what you dream of--ie you wanted to be a doctor big guy so now you better step up to the plate. So I took a deep breath and walked into the little girls room.
To say that I was ill prepared for what lay before me that night in that room would be a huge under-statement, indeed. The patient was a 12 year old kid who lost her very short battle with acute myelogenous leukemia. Her Mom and Dad were on either side of the bed holding each of her hands. They had been there ,they informed me, the last 5 nights praying for a miracle. They had not left her bedside and she had slipped into a coma only a few hours ago. Five minutes ago she had stopped breathing. They had a look of loss that shook me to my core. I did not know how to speak to them. I new I did not have the training for this. Damn those medical schools that had put me here in this situation to just wing it on my own. Damn that nurse that called me and did not wake up the chief resident to come help me with this situation. That was the moment I pledged to never stick a young intern with this job.
I sucked it up and examined the young corpse and prononced her dead and then I did all that I knew to do instinctively and I hugged Mom and Dad and we all cried together. We cried long and hard and they consoled me after I honestly told them that was my 1st time in this situation.
I walked out and went back to my call room and cried more and never slept that night and then and there decided I would NOT be a pediatrician. Be careful doc it is only the beginning.